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GET YOUR TODDLER TO SLEEP IN THEIR OWN ROOM

 

 

Everyone has an idea of what age your toddler should be sleeping by themselves and how to get it done. Some say throw them in and lock the door. Most are geared towards babies and don’t actually give good tips to get your toddler to sleep in their own room.

 

 

From the time my daughter was born she slept in my bed. The only exception was sleeping over at her grandparents’ house or when she was so tired that she fell asleep somewhere else.

 

WHY?!

 

My daughter is our firstborn and I had this unrealistic idea of what parenting, sleeping, and handling a newborn would be like. I suffered from postpartum depression with both my kids. Being that I breastfed both of them it was much easier to co-sleep.

 

I tried multiple times to get our daughter to sleep in her crib.

 

Imagine being a new mom. You’re tired, hungry, sad, and unshowered. You finally get your child to fall asleep, but as soon as you attempt to transfer them to their crib they wake up and start screaming and crying at the top of their lungs.

 

I tried the “cry it out” method for 10 minutes. That’s when I said screw it, let’s just go to bed in my room, we’ll try again another time.

 

Another time turned into months, which turned into years. Four to be exact.

 

My husband would say to me, these kids are going to be sleeping in our bed until they’re 18. Exaggeration much? Well it did have me thinking.

 

Getting kicked in the face, clinging on to the side of the bed holding on for dear life, or sleeping like a contortionist gets old very fast. That’s when I came up with a plan to get our 4 year old toddler to sleep in their own room.

 

It was surprisingly a lot easier than I anticipated.

 

Here are my tips to get your toddler to sleep in their own room that will make it easy for you to transition them without all the fighting and whining.

 

 

 

 

 

COMMUNICATE

 

I started having a conversation with my daughter a few months before her 4th birthday. I said “Soooo, when are you going to start sleeping in your own room?” She told me, “When I turn 4 because right now I’m too small”. Okay fair enough.

 

As we got closer to her birthday we would have the conversation of where she would sleep and where everyone else would be sleeping so there were no surprises.

 

Talk with your toddler about why they need to sleep in their own room. If they fight you about it, find out WHY they don’t want to sleep in their own room and talk about it. Most likely it’ll be because they are scared of the dark, scared of monsters, or just want to be with you.

 

Tip: Set a date together of when your toddler will being sleeping in their own room. There may be disagreement, but try to compromise. My daughter picked her birthday which was a few months away at the time.

 

 

PREPARE

 

Get their room ready. Make it as comfortable for them as possible.

 

My daughter told me she didn’t want to sleep in her own room because she was afraid of the dark so we got her a nightlight.

 

 

 

That wasn’t enough so I came across this dream tent at a great price and set it up in her room. It’s a simple tent, but it made her feel excited to sleep in her own room.

 

They have even cooler tents like this one. If your toddler shows an interest let them pick it out.

 

 

I thought walkie talkies would also be a great way to get my daughter to transition into her room because if she got scared she could talk to me without having me be right next to her. She thought it was a good idea too, but we never got around to ordering them.

 

 

Tip: Ask your toddler what would make it easier for them to sleep in their own room and accommodate as best your can.

 

 

CONSISTENCY

 

Do you give your toddler a bath before bed? Read them a story? Run around and play games that will tire them out?

 

Whatever you do, develop a good bedtime routine that will make them consciously or subconsciously know that sleep is coming.

 

Once your toddler is sleeping in their own room do not I repeat do NOT let them get back in your room.

 

My daughter was sleeping in her own room for weeks and I knowingly made the mistake of letting her sleep in my room one night that she wasn’t feeling well. One night can easily turn into weeks if you let it. The week we went on vacation also messed up our routine so we had to ease back into it.

 

Tip: Follow your bedtime routine as best as possible. If a vacation or schedule change interrupts or changes sleeping arrangement try to get back into routine as soon as possible. Communicate that the change is only temporary.

 

 

WAIT FOR THEM TO FALL ASLEEP

 

Some nights my daughter would fall asleep right away, but other times she wanted me to sit right next to her and wait until she fell asleep.

 

Don’t let your toddler string you along. One night my daughter was just lying there pretending to sleep, but as soon as I went to leave she would cry out. I told her she needed to try to go to bed because I couldn’t stay with her all night. Eventually she would fall asleep and each night would get easier and easier.

 

Tip: If your toddler asks for you to stay with them until they fall asleep stay with them in the beginning days so they can ease into sleeping in their own room.

 

 

REWARDS/PRAISE

 

The first night my toddler slept in their own room I was in disbelief. My daughter woke up and said “are you so proud of me?” Yes, yes yes!

Make sure your toddler knows how happy you are and shower them with praises of what a big kid they are.

 

After my daughter slept by herself a few nights I got her some toys and treats as a reward.

 

Tip: Reward your toddler with praise or prizes when they start sleeping in their own room.

 

 

CALENDAR

 

Children are visual learners. Consider creating a calendar where for every day they sleep in their own room they get a sticker, prize or reward.

Although it was an easy transition for my daughter she still has occasional nights where she asks if she can sleep in our room.

As an added incentive for her to continue sleeping in her room I tell her if she sleeps in her room for “x” number of nights she’ll get a prize of her choosing. Lucky for us she never wants anything expensive and we’re great at getting deals.

 

Tip: Get a reusable calendar where your child can mark each day that they slept in their own room. Give an incentive for their first week or month.

 

 

BONUS TIPS

 

If your child wakes up in the middle of the night and tries to crawl into bed with you do not give in. Get up and walk them back into their room and wait until they fall asleep.

 

If your child is afraid of monsters let them see you do a quick check of the room that there is no one and nothing in their room. Some tips suggest giving your child “monster” spray (aka a water bottle), but I think this makes them more scared because now you’re telling them there really are monsters. Do what works for you.

 

If your child has a favorite toy, blanket, or stuffed animal have that right next to them.

 

 

 

 

Getting your toddler to sleep in their own bed may seem impossible. I know I wished I transitioned our daughter into her crib before she could start walking, but getting her to sleep in her own bed was not that hard.

 

Be patient, communicate with your toddler, and come up with a game plan together. There’s no shame in a little bribery.

 

Soon you’ll have more room in your own bed than you’ll know what to do with 😉

 

Good luck!